| I'm caving in... |
[Nov. 8th, 2004|05:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  scared | ] |
I'm stressed as usual. About everything. My life is no more complicated than anyone else's, but I need to rant about it and I feel selfish for doing so.
I'm feeling the pressure of everything that revolves around college, and just recently, my health. I mean, how can I be 100% in my college work, if my physical strength doesn't feel up to par?
I've got work coming out of my ears, and I have no motivation for it. It's not that I don't want to do it, it's just the course itself that stalls my motivation. Our college doesn't give a shit about the Performing Arts and it shows. They lose our work, they muck up our grades and so on. It's almost as if they make it all up as they go along. How am I supposed to feel like I'm doing right, when things around me feel wrong? I have a script to write, which I'm loving, but I'm crap at starting things. I have 1000 words on Brecht and Epic/Dramatic theatre techniques that I don't like. I have 1000 words on the History of Variety Theatre and I can't even find the information on it. I've got journal work to keep up with...yeah right. Evaluations, etc. I've got lines that I need to learn and rehearse and I don't feel up to scratch with it. I know I can act, I'm just having trouble. All that I have to do in the next 2-3 weeks, along with going to work 4 days a week. If I can't deal with all this right now, then how the hell am I supposed to survive Uni?!
Then there's the added pressure of trying to choose a good University, and I've only got 6 options, and I have to know FOR SURE what course I wanna do...that's difficult. I need to make the right choice. I have a personal statement to fill in for when I apply to my choice of Uni's, but I don't know where to begin. Then there's whether I want to go to Drama School - the money, choosing audition pieces and so on. Then...there's the fecking deadlines. I'm scared of missing out because I'm too busy trying to think about everything.
Then my stomach keeps acting up again. The reoccuring shit of that, amongst other things.
Sometimes, I just feel like crawling under a rock and hiding there for a while. I'll stop raving now. I feel so selfish. |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
aroreiel's journal